There’s room in my life for some kinds of waiting. I’ll wait for midnight movie premieres, for brunch at that one place downtown with the really good waffles, or for the cute guy from Accounts Receivable to finally break up with his girlfriend already. But I do not have any more time in my life for the crappy kind of waiting — like waiting out a two-year contract with a busted, out-of-date phone. But with the T-Mobile JUMP!^TM Upgrade program, I don’t have to play that waiting game anymore.

With JUMP!, I can get a hot new smartphone from T-Mobile, twice a year, after just six months with no annual service contract in sight. I can get an amazing, super-fast smartphone with a huge screen and an awesome camera, and I don’t have to spend my time worrying that I’m going to drop it, or that it’s going to become painfully obsolete before I even pay it off. I can just spend my time actually enjoying my phone. What a concept, right?

So what are my awesome new phone and I doing with all my free time? I’m streaming music and downloading movies to make my morning commute more fun. I’m battling my friends in Candy Crush without worrying that my phone is going to freeze up in the middle. I’m watching a live video feed of a guy trying to break the world record for longest drum solo ever played, because why not? I’m using productivity apps, news apps, travel apps, shopping apps, and one that’s supposed to teach me French in time for my trip to Paris next year. I’m watching a video someone sent me called “Cutest Dog EVER!!!!” (and then I’m shooting and posting a video of my dog, because he is waaaaay cuter).

I’m trying not to get too attached to this phone, because I know I can get an even newer, cooler one in six months — long before my poor friends who are locked into contracts can get their upgrade for a decent price without a new two-year contract or paying a monthly device payment in addition to the same high service rates they had before.

My poor, poor friends. I mean, I’m not saying that I’m better than them. I’m just saying that JUMP! is an awesome program. I never have to pay another insane fee just to get a phone that works. I never have to live with a phone that’s outdated, or slow, or held together with duct tape, ever again. JUMP! is pretty much like the fountain of youth for phones.

Don’t get me wrong, though — I haven’t let this program go to my head. I’m still totally down-to-earth. I still put my pants on one leg at a time. Those pants just always have an amazingly up-to-date phone in the pocket now.

Are you sick of waiting, and ready to upgrade to a phone you know you'll love? Check out T-Mobile to learn more about JUMP! right here.

Gabrielle Moss has written mostly funny stuff (but also some serious stuff) for GQ.com, The Hairpin, Nerve, etc. You can follow her here.

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Deductible may apply. Visit a participating T-Mobile store or go to www.T-Mobile.com for pricing and details. JUMP! T-Mobile and the magenta colors are registered trademarks of Deutsche Telekom AG.